07 August 2016

The Soul vs. The Personality

Hello, you lovely soul explorers! 

It's time that I shook up the Be Unleashed snow globe and shared some deets about my current reality. While the snowflakes have been settled for some time, inspiration has struck and I've started to roll around and make way for a SnoWoman. Given that we're all in this life thing together, just human-ing around and seeing what we discover, I hope this post can be a meaningful outlet for conversation and connection.

Maybe your current reality looks similar to mine and you can relate. Or maybe you’ve been here before and can chime in with a greater sense of objective clarity. Or maybe what you read below will sound like absolute madness and illicit a big shoulder shrug. Either way, I value having a platform to allow for others to share their experiences.

Couple of things I’ve been up to since May…

  • I moved! Ask me about it. The new spot is really lovely and I hit the jackpot with my roomie. What a gem.
  •  I started Transcendental Meditation. Are you a TMer, too?! I would love to talk to you about your experience with it. No idea what I’m talking about? Ask me, and I’m happy to share what’s special about this kind of meditation. I’ll soon write a post about my experience with it, my wonderful instructor, and how TM has transformed my relationship with my anxiety.
  •  I’ve started working with a spiritual coach. It’s like having an accountability partner for loving yourself and your life. You can check out more about his signature Future Self Method here. Peter is an amazing advocate for his clients’ highest selves. His intuitive, action-oriented approach yields incredible results (whether you’re seeking support in the realm of relationships, career, finances, health, or otherwise). A great way to initially get a feel for his beautiful craft is by attending one of his group gatherings. He offers guided meditations and Future Self workshops in Venice at Full Circle and in Brentwood at Unplug Meditation

My most recent work with Peter coincides perfectly with the excerpts of a book I’d like to share with you.

I’ve been reading… very slowly… The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav for the past few weeks. Each chapter – each page – is chock-full of deeply healing, enlightening Truths. This book will change the way you see the world and live your life. Zukav provides both a scientific and a philosophic perspective on evolution and the human condition. If you’re up for checking out the possibilities of a multi-sensory human vs. that of the five-sensory human (you're like, "what?!"), I highly recommend. 

I'll give you a taste of one of the foundational distinctions that the book makes early on: the soul vs. the personality.

“The personality and its body are artificial aspects of the soul.”

YOU are not your body or your personality – the purest form of you, your true essence, is your soul. Your personality is the vessel that your soul has shown up in in this lifetime. It’s the casing for your highest self. Your personality is how you interact with the world and others around you. It’s part of how you’re making sense of this particular chapter on Earth. It's like the homework assignment that your soul has been given for this lifetime. Homework?

“The personality is those parts of the soul that require healing, along with those parts of the soul, such as compassion and love, that the soul has lent to the process of healing in that lifetime. The splintered aspects of the soul, the aspects that require healing, need to interact in physical matter so that each part of the splinteredness can become whole.”

Each time your soul touches down on this Earth, it has karmic debts to pay and learnings to uncover. There are lifetimes-worth of energetic transactions that must be settled. These debts and earnings show up in the form of your personality. Your soul desires to be in balance, and therefore it knows what kind of vehicle it must re-enter the world in in order to realign – whether that realignment happens over the course of this lifetime or many lifetimes.

“From the point of view of the soul, all its incarnations are simultaneous. All of its personalities exist at once... Because the soul, itself, is not confined to time, the past of a personality, as well as its future, is enhanced when a personality releases currents of fear and doubt… A conscious lifetime, therefore, is a treasure beyond value.”

Personalities are worldly; souls are supernatural. While the personality is confined to time and spatial limitations, the soul is not. It exists boundlessly and it is all-knowing. Glimpses into our higher selves (whether granted through meditation, deeply introspective work, or soul connections with others) can reveal incredible Truths to our personalities. These Truths are important guides, as our personalities fumble about on their predestined missions, scrambling to find the meaning of this lifetime. The soul has the bird’s eye view – the objective perspective – on all of the trials and tribulations of the personality. A life most peacefully lived is one in which we stay connected to our observant, nonjudgmental soul, rather than feel dragged around by our personalities and their assignments.

As I’ve been reading about all of this in The Seat of the Soul, I’ve started to become more aware of my personality… or personalities. My coach has been an integral part of helping me to not completely fixate on aspects of my personality, and instead set my sights on my Future Self, whose awareness and intentions are much more aligned with the purity and deep wisdom that characterizes the soul. However, in effort to heal my own splinteredness, in our last session we dove deeply into the aspects of my personality.

“Personalities in interaction are souls that are seeking to heal.”

Whether this refers to a personality interacting with that of another soul (best friend, partner, colleague, etc.), or personalities within one soul interacting, it's all part of healing. The interactions and connections are divinely perfect and destined to alleviate that splinteredness - splinters like feeling disconnected from your true purpose, resisting being vulnerable with others, experiencing a paralyzing fear of making the wrong decision, and feeling separate and removed from your environment or from others. Over the past two months, through my experience with the Future Self Method, I've become more aware of my own splinters, particularly the ones within myself.

If you know me well, you know that I have an extremely difficult time making decisions – more so than the average person. Decisions, from what to order at a restaurant or which hike to go on, to how to address relationship difficulties or job hang-ups, I often struggle to make choices with conviction. I want it all! What if I let someone down? What if I hurt someone’s feelings? What if I make the wrong choice? Where will this decision lead me in the future? My big heart and my big imagination, full of dreams and ideas, sometimes get in the way of my decision-making skills. These are splinters of my personality, trying to heal my soul's karma.

Do you feel overwhelmed by options too? In the digital age of the Internet, social media, and the always-accessible expectation, it's very challenging to filter through the endless options, advertisements, messages, and shiny things vying for your attention. It has become increasingly more difficult to dive deep to connect with your heart (which feels like a direct line to the soul) to ask what it truly wants, separate from worldly desires, temptations, stereotypes, and social norms.

To give you a bit more context around what this decision-making struggle feels like for me, I’ll offer a metaphor that has emerged in my coaching sessions. When I’m faced with a decision, it feels like a game of ping-pong initiates in my mind. Sometimes I am a spectator at the match, and I can have a bit more compassion and laugh at the sheer entertainment of it all. The two dominant aspects of my personality duke it out, and my highest self sits it in the soul bleachers, cheering for whichever player is most driven by love. Other times (most times, up until very recently), I feel like the ball itself, getting smacked back and forth by the two extremes, with no end of the duel in sight.

Learning who the players are – the two extremes – has been essential to understanding my tendency to feel overwhelmed by options. By personifying the two players within me, I’ve initiated the process of self-compassion. (If you want to know more about these two personalities within me, just ask and I'm happy to share.) Looking at them through a lens of curiosity and adoration, instead of one colored by skepticism, has been transformational. When a ping-pong match strikes up in my mind, I try to immediately assume the position of the observer. From this higher place, I can tap into what it is that I truly want, which is usually pretty obvious from the bleachers. Then, it just becomes a matter of giving myself permission.   

The goal is to gradually merge these two personalities, such that they are in harmony and serving the same soul, as opposed to them feeling at odds with each other. Each side is a very important part of who I am, where I've been, and my mission on Earth in this lifetime. Therefore, it's not productive to favor one or the other, or to criticize the more splintered parts of each. Rather, it's most important to love what each of them is revealing and to honor them as necessary vessels for my soul this time around. (This is all equally true when you consider your personality and how it interacts with that of other souls. The goal is harmony and oneness.)

Have you identified differing aspects of your personality that rage war with you? Can you ask yourself what gifts each of them is offering? Lend a curious eye to their antics and desires, and remind yourself that they serve the same greater purpose, even if they bicker like siblings at times. The facade of separateness is just that. 

Share thoughts, ideas, love, questions in the comments below. 

As always, some tunes for you...

Favorite song of the moment: Elle Watson's Phantom.

Meditation is a beautiful way to disconnect from the logical mind / body and sit in the seat of your soul. I'll be writing about my experience with it soon. I'm a newbie, so even if you're inexperienced, you may find my thoughts and suggestions valuable. If you are looking for some beautiful ambient tracks for meditation, yoga, sleep, relaxation, etc., check out the 11 free tracks that Moby recently released. They are really magical and have helped me connect to source energy when I've felt unfocused or disconnected.

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