For the last week, I have been struggling with what it means to stand up for myself vs. being respectful and letting things roll off. What is the difference between the two? A million little phrases have run through my head: "Pick your battles," "It is what it is," "Let it be," "Accept what you can't change." That's all fine... but I'm not sure how to move forward when a request has been made of me that I don't wish to uphold. The obvious response: "DON'T DO IT, DUH!" "This is your life," "You have to do what makes YOU happy." But, imagine that going against the request will be seen as disrespectful to the requester. I can accept that I will disagree with people in my life and that we will have wildly different opinions on things that really matter to each of us. That's all okay and 100% understandable. We are all different, entitled to our own opinions, and deserving of love and acceptance.
However, what do you do when that difference in opinion affects the way you want to live your life? What do you do when a loved one asks you to withhold from doing something that brings you joy? They are choosing to let your joy bring them hurt. They are judging and will not ever accept. What does one do? At this point in my life, when I'm in the practice of love and acceptance, I really dislike negative confrontation. It feels like the exact opposite of being loving and being at peace with others. But, when someone makes a request of you that goes against what the heart wants, what do you do? Do it anyways and know that it will completely upset them and potentially cause a rift? Or "suck it up," obey their request, and sacrifice what you really want?
But on whose terms should I move forward? (YOUR OWN) Even if that means estrangement in a relationship that matters to me?
This jarring situation has popped up in my life for a reason. I know the Universe is trying to tell me something or help lead me to a realization. I guess I must choose patience until the reason is revealed to me.
This is very appealing. But what if people who mind, DO matter to you? What if they are family? Do you go on living your life the way you want to, politely declining their wishes and know that they will resent you and cause issues?
I welcome your comments and advice. Perhaps you've been in a similar situation and have some thoughts. All of the question marks in this entry clearly show that I'm extremely lost. I know it's okay to not have all the answers immediately... I just hope that I find peace soon. Lots of love to you, readers.