"Heroics is often about putting our life on the line. Ordinary courage is about putting our vulnerability on the line. In today's world, that's pretty extraordinary."
13 March 2012
A Visit from the Cosmos
I have to share a story with all of you, because looking at it in retrospect, I feel like it's akin to my "testimony." If spirituality and the practice of connection to the Universe were a religion, per say, then this would be the moment where I truly felt my maker.
I've been having a lot of powerful realizations over the past week, and they have undoubtedly opened up a new portal in the Universe for me! I kid you not. It was not a smooth-sailing journey, and it took a lot of courage to give up my ideas, but the result has been incredible. It all started last week when I chose love and acceptance over hurt and judgement - multiple times and in a genuine way...
Early last week, I got some shocking news. I don't need to bog you down with the details, because they are not relevant to the story. But in short, the news felt like rejection and it made me feel used. (visualize a situation that would make you feel this way. the kind of feeling that jabs you in the gut and makes you want to crawl into a ball for eternity. got it? okay...) All I could think was: "how could I be so stupid?!" and "why didn't I listen to my gut?" and "how could a FRIEND do this to ME?" Over and over I played this shame game in my mind to the point of exhaustion and began blaming others for getting me into this "situation." I wanted to lash out at my friends and make everyone else around me feel as worthless as I did.
But then, I had a moment. The light bulb went off and the very teachings I had offered to my blog readers came to the front of my mind. I asked myself "what if I were on the delivering end of this news? How would I want the recipient to respond?" and "do I really want my friends to feel terribly because I have decided to take the actions and words of others so personally?" WOW! *breaks screech* I would want the person to respond with love and acceptance. I want my friends to always feel happy and uplifted! Heck, I myself want to feel those things! Even when you are angry with a friend, family member, or yourself, you may still claim to love them. But you're not practicing love if you lash out with blame, resentment, and judgement. I want to BE love (if you couldn't guess already from the title of my blog) so that I can let more love into my heart, and give it back to others and myself. I simply can't simultaneously freak out about this news and love the people involved.
And then I dropped it. Completely. I stopped reeling in my emotions of hurt and shame, and I instead chose to look at this as the natural course of the Universe. In fact, it was the start of a love story! How beautiful and exciting! This had nothing to do with ME unless I made it that way.
Being "over it" completely was complicated a bit by others in my life which whom I had shared my blame/shame story with. Friends who aren't studying self-acceptance and practicing love every day were quick to remind me of the "crappiness" of the situation and continually tried to validate my feelings of hurt and anger. I once again challenged myself to love and accept these people and their negativity (the same kind I had expressed to them just a day earlier) and offered up my new line of thinking. Most friends took to this revelation and saw the strength that I gleaned from practicing love. Others were skeptical and preferred fueling the more negative way of looking at things. But I didn't let them get to me and my new-found inner peace, and I also didn't force feed them or get frustrated when they would rather be upset about it.
A day passed after my revelation, and I got together with a very good girlfriend (who was involved in the "situation"). Let's call her Connie. I think both of us were nervous to see each other, given that we hadn't gotten to talk things out since I heard the news. Little did Connie know that I had overcome my hurt feelings and supplemented them with love! I wanted to wait to tell her everything that night in person. It happened to be a full moon that evening, and the moon was pulling at my heart like it pulls on the tide. I felt one with the Universe and let it push and pull me in its force field. As soon as I opened up to Connie about my arc of emotions and how I had combated the negativity with acceptance and excitement at the opportunity to embrace my friends, the night ignited! We had such a wonderful time together and it was as if nothing had happened (which is exactly how it should be).
After our outing, we went back to my apt for a sleepover. Feeling overwhelmed with giddiness, love, and the lunar pull, we curled up in my bed and started to pour into my Secret Language of Birthdays / Secret Language of Relationships books. We began reading about ourselves, our past love, new love, friends, etc. We were amazed by the accuracy (as we always are by astrology), laughing and nodding at the reality of what we were reading. It was like we found a mystical outlet that could open up our eyes to the plans of the Universe. By looking at ourselves and our friends on a sheet of paper, totally objective and outside of ourselves, it became easier and desirable to accept them for who they are - for who the Universe crafted them to be.
And then, something incredible happened. We were reading a page from my Secret Language of Relationships book (which delves into how compatible two people are with each other) and through finishing each other's sentences about accepting the compatibility of two people, Connie and I made a connection to something that had been happening in her every day life. Let me explain - the book speaks in conceptual terms and says hypothetically how these two people (born on X and Y days) interact/mesh with each other. It's easy to be like, "Oh yeah, he is SO that way, and YEAH we always feel like that together." But we suddenly were able to draw a line from the writings and illustrations of the book to a message that had been popping up in Connie's apartment on a weekly basis. The Universe had been sending a message!!! Not just in an emotional, heart-tapping way. But PHYSICAL deliveries, and we wouldn't have picked up on it if we hadn't seen the words and pictures in the very book we were holding in our hands. The deliveries were communicating loud and clear that the two people we were reading about had a whole new chapter to start in their relationship! As soon as the realization left Connie's mouth, an undeniable wave of PHYSICAL ENERGY swept over my bedroom. The look on Connie's face told me she felt it too, and we both squealed at the top of our lungs and dove under the covers, laughing and shaking all at the same time. We were scared by what we felt, but also excited at what we had tapped into!
Of course, the little girl inside of me was scared to death and weirded out - as if a ghost had come to reprimand us for seeing the smoke and mirrors behind its tricks. I hadn't felt that overwhelming, tickling sensation all over my body since I was about 7 years old, cowering in my bed at night because I could feel some spiritual energy in my room. But Connie helped us to interpret this visit as something magical and beautiful. It was like we had seen the strings of the Universe's puppets, and it wanted to let us know that we were "right" in our discovery. We had done our homework, been open to giving and receiving love, and we were rewarded with a gold star (which has and will continue to shine).
THAT, my friends, is my personal testimony. That is how I am able to embrace my place in the Universe and it's plan for me. When I was able to accept who I am and the decisions I had made to get myself into the "situation," and decided to transform all of my shame and blame into an even GREATER love for myself and others, the Universe opened up more to me. A little beam of light shone through. I believe that if I continue practicing this kind of love and acceptance, I will continue to receive incredible encouragement and light from the Universe. You can tap into this beautiful energy too if you surrender to it. You have to be willing to be 100% vulnerable to experience it. And that takes courage. Here is an excerpt from a book I'm reading, The Gifts of Imperfection, about courage:
Have a bright, wonderful day everyone!! If you would like to share a special story where you acted with love and courage, I would love to hear it! We can all learn and gain strength from each other's awakenings.